In case anyone didn't know, I'm totally in with your approach Isabela … to me, the insistence on "me first" development feels more like a vestige of the very individualism we are trying to transcend and include in a greater context. But, naturally, this is easily overlooked, as the individualistic culture is all around us, so feels natural. Also, those in transition from "socialised" to "self-authored" are likely to defend individualism (perhaps under the banner of "individuation" or "self-actualisation") against what is seen as a retrogressive form of collectivism.
How can we support people into this recognition that the relational field we are talking about is not the oppressive, normative traditionalism that is understandably rejected?
Excellent points, Simon. I especially like this consideration about how the developmentally appropriate individuation process can be conflated with the move towards "individualistic" values and their potentially toxic manifestations. I think you're absolutely right that our jobs as parents of adult children is to navigate the tricky terrain of inviting them into community and communal ways of being without implying that their own authentic expressions of self need to be quashed in the process.
In case anyone didn't know, I'm totally in with your approach Isabela … to me, the insistence on "me first" development feels more like a vestige of the very individualism we are trying to transcend and include in a greater context. But, naturally, this is easily overlooked, as the individualistic culture is all around us, so feels natural. Also, those in transition from "socialised" to "self-authored" are likely to defend individualism (perhaps under the banner of "individuation" or "self-actualisation") against what is seen as a retrogressive form of collectivism.
How can we support people into this recognition that the relational field we are talking about is not the oppressive, normative traditionalism that is understandably rejected?
Excellent points, Simon. I especially like this consideration about how the developmentally appropriate individuation process can be conflated with the move towards "individualistic" values and their potentially toxic manifestations. I think you're absolutely right that our jobs as parents of adult children is to navigate the tricky terrain of inviting them into community and communal ways of being without implying that their own authentic expressions of self need to be quashed in the process.